I’ve been reading about how to spur creativity. Apparently, I have three options, at least those are the only ones known to the experienced experts, or, maybe it was just a bunch of options preferred by a lazy, weird junky.
There are three common ways to wake up your right side of the brain – the one where creativity resides.
1. You can either stare in the colour blue (you can wear blue-tinted shades, paint your walls deep blue, or have someone beat the hell out of you).
2. You can take hot showers – apparently hot water relaxes you and something chemical happens that activates the right side of your brain to become a bit more chirpy.
3. Or you can get high on drugs.
Wait. That last one comes with a warning sign.
Just never accept “I smoked it because I needed an inspiration” as an explanation from your teenager.
He is lying.
In fact, if he is lying, he is probably stealing from you, too.
I needed some creativity boost, an inspiration, a muse of some sort, to continue writing (What? A secret).
So, I looked around my house in search of a big patch of blue. Turns out everything is beige or stained at home. The beige was my initial colour on the walls. The stains are from having three kids spreading goo on my beige walls.
But blue patch I did not find.
There’s the sea surrounding our island but it’s too far and too complicated going out and bla bla bla zzzzzz.
Drugs, I thought. Where can I find marihuana cigarette (for lack of a cooler “chill-dude” type of slang)? Where, where, where can I find one that I won’t be busted, I will be trusted and my mother won’t be disgusted with me (well, I’m not a teenager, so if I tell her I needed to awaken my creativity with the fag, she would have believed me, I promise!).
There are definitely the places and the people to find those marihuana cigarettes (for lack of a cooler “chill-dude” type of slang) but it’s too far and too complicated going out and bla bla bla zzzzzz.
So, I figured, I’ll have a hot shower. No baby-sitter arrangements (kids are sleeping at the moment), no dressing up, going out, searching bla bla bla. I jumped into the shower cabin and turned the hot water on.
And began to wait.
I waited and waited and waited for the creativity to awaken and come to me.
There was still nothing coming and I was getting aggravated.
And then began to prune.
Like a Californian raisin.
Alas, creativity arrived not.
What arrived in my head, however, was all sorts of stupid thoughts. I was trying to count the mosaic squares in the shower cabin – too many and I lost count after the 89th. Some at the bottom corner looked darker, so I bent to look at what made it darker. It appeared to be mould. I wondered what would my kids or husband or maid think if they saw me at that point in the position I was in, staring at the mosaic in the bottom corner of the shower cabin, and my answer to their question-marked faces, “I was looking for my creativity?”.
The water was getting lukewarm, so I turned the tap to the far left side to get more hot coming.
The heat hit me straight in the scalp, so I may have boiled my brain a little, but remained stoically under the current, waiting for her Highness Creativity to arrive. She just refused to come, like a donkey on ice twirled and pushed backwards and sideways and tossed like a Hollywood diva and refused to obey my command.
By that time the water was freezing cold so I decided it was time to get out of the shower and go read a poem or something.
That’s when I came up with the revelation. I wasn’t waiting for my creativity to come.
I was bored.
No, definitely bored.
And then I thought, I have to come up with a list of things one can do when bored.
So, here are some of the things I came up with:
1. Play on your air guitar.
2. Try to touch your nose with your tongue. Then pull your ears and try to touch them behind your head.
3. Take a book and read a paragraph from it as if you are a sports commentator. Don’t forget to scream at the last few paragraphs just about when one of the teams scores.
4. Blink wildly for a minute and then close your eyes to feel the dizziness.
5. Call a random telephone number, speak in English with an Indian accent (unless you are an Indian who speaks English with an Indian accent, then, just be yourself).
6. Watch your pet and do what he is doing at the same moment. Just don’t go to the loo where he goes – you’re risking jail term.
7. Repeat one word 1000 times – you can use mine “gobbledygook”.
8. Invent 20 reasons to say that everything is “hunky dory”.
9. Repeat after your children – whatever they say, say it and see how they will react to it. Tone down on the spitting.
10. Go have coffee somewhere in a crowded cafe and invent conversations of people sitting near your table.
I’m so afraid of ever witnessing my kids feeling bored.
I promise myself to give them loads of lists of things to do (or, at least chose from) to make sure they don’t get bored. To mention but a few:
1. Wash the dishes
2. Clean their rooms
3. Sweep the yard
4. Build a barn
5. Pay the electricity bills
Sorry, that was the “you’re punished’ list.
1. Play outside in the mud
2. Join a sports team (just not in curling or in Rubik’s cube)
3. Walk to a friend’s house and then walk with that friend to the basketball playground and shoot hoops
5. Run (on the road, not on Wii)
6. Build a spaceship in the garage
7. Make tea for your parents and invite us to the spaceship for a showoff spin around the neighbourhood.